Coaching Habit / Knowing when to give advice

Today a friend and I drove to pick up some food for our group from a restaurant. Along the way they mentioned how terrible their parallel parking was.

On the way back there was an opportunity for them to practice.

I said, “Look, there’s no one around. Why don’t you give it a go?”.

Nervously agreeing to the suggestion. I gave a little bit of advice to turn the steering wheel once and a bit around and then quickly turn the steering wheel back the other way while going backwards.

The first attempt they failed and said they couldn’t do it.

I said, “Come on. Try again. There’s no one around.”

They tried again and succeeded! Perfect parallel parking. A burst of smiles on our faces! Cheers and a high five.

Coaching Habit/Knowing when to have answers

This situation has made me reflect on my coaching habits. How I need to say less and ask more. However, to also know when to not only ask questions, but to know when to give suggestions, ideas and answers. Empowerment is important to guide people to find the answers themselves. On the other side of the coin, knowing when to have the answers is important too. It is a fine art and not one that I have completely mastered or in fact believe I will ever be perfect with. Consistent practice.

One of your roles as a manager or leader is to have answers. Coaching is trying to slow down the rush to this role as your default behaviour. — The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier.

Default coaching behaviour

In my experience, I have leaned too much into both— giving too many answers or asking too many questions. Of late, I have been in back to back priority work, lots of meetings and generally rushing around too much. It has been great to have taken a decent amount of holiday to reset my mind. One of the things I will do is revisit my coaching skills so that coaching is my default behaviour. I’ll start by re-reading The coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier and then explore from there.

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